Sugar, We're Going Down Swinging
by Fire Snake
Summary: Bash Brothers have litttle sisters and crushes are involved. Warn me if I Mary Sue it. Or Gary Stu it. that's a male Mary Sue. The couples are Fulton and Liz, Dean and Julie, and Cynthia and the mystery Duck.
1. CKY

Author's Note: I was writing a Mighty Ducks fanfiction about a year ago, but I never finished. i read it over today, realized it sucked, and decided to start a new one. This is sort of based off of the smae idea, but with less original characters. And, we are going to pretend that Dean and all other Ducks from the Team USA saga moved to a nice place to be closer to their beloved team. Why? Because we can! Creativity, my dears, creativity.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from The Mighty Ducks. I also don't own Iron Maiden or their songs. I am making no profit off of this fanfiction. So GET OFF MY BACK!

> > >

"Dean! Where is my Iron Maiden CD?" Elizabeth Portman stormed down the stairs of her house and into her living room, only to be met with her brother and the majority of his hockey team watching her. Immediately regretting her decision to be put into view of others but not wanting to seem like the way she looke bothered her, the girl stalked over to where her brother was standing and got up in hi face. "Well?" she asked, but he only looked pointedly at her wardrobe. She was wearing Jack Daniels boxers with a white muscle shirt, and she had a bandana covering her hair. This, however, was not the problem, in Elizabeth's eyes. To her, the problem was her bright pink Hello Kitty socks. "Dean, I am going to castrate you if you don't tell me where my CD is."

"Woah, now, Bethy! Cool your jets..." Dean laughed easily and put his arm around the girl's shoulder. "I don't see why this upsets you...it was only the greatest hits CD..." seeing the look on his sister's face he took his arms off of her shoulders. "It should be in my CD player?" Elizabeth nodded and turned, beginning to walk away, but stopped at the sound of her brother's voice following the doorbell. "That should be Fulton and he said he'd bring Cynthia so you two can bond or whatever, OK?"

Elizabeth nodded and watched as her brother opened the door, greeting Fulton and his twin sister. Cynthia Reed was slightly shorter than her brother with a slight build, and long brown hair, which she tied back with a ribon, and plain, everyday brown eyes. Freckles lightly dusted her nose, and she was much bouncier than he older brother. Seeing Elizabeth, she immediately rushed over to embrace her friend.

"Hey Cyn...it's nice to see you, too...enough of this now...please." Elizabeth hugged back briefly before pushing Cynthi away from her and laughing t the look of mock hurt on her friend's face, stopping short as she saw Fulton watching her.

"I don't think she's too pleased to see you, baby sister," Fulton said easily as he watched the going-ons before him. "And, Izzi...nice look. I love the socks." He grinned at his own witty sarcasm and to show he was joking. Elizabeth giggled girlishly and never stopped looking at Fulton adoringly. Cynthia, however, seemed quite disgusted with her brother.

"Ugh..Fulton. I am 3 minutes younger than you so shut the fuck up! And Liz doesn't let anyone call her Izzi. Ever. So, just...don't." Cynthia was glaring daggers at her brother while she said this, but he seemed quite unfazed.

"It didn't seem to me like she minded..." he said as he grinned fleetingly at Elizabeth who nearly swooned.

"Check into kill yourself camp, ok?" Cynthia countered at him as she grabbed her friends arm and began pulling her upstairs towards her bedroom. There was a moment of silence before The Ducks burst out laughing all at once. It was artially because of Fulton's demon little sister, Elizabeth's ovious adoration for him, and the look of shocked amusement on Fulton's face when Cynthia yelled at him.

"Dude...Portman's sister has got it bad for you man!" Les Averman chortled at the Bash Brother he'd known since The Ducks began. In response, Reed turned slightly red and mumbled something about "not being so bad herself."

> > >

Upstairs, Elizabeth collapsed on her bed with uncontrollable giggles and was only silenced when Cynthia sat on top of her.

"You like my brother," she accused.

"Only cuz he's so SEXY!"

"That is disgusting!"

This exchange prompted even more giggles from both girls, and, inspired by laughter, Elizabeth stood up, causing her firend to crash to the floor, but she seemed far from remorseful. In fact, she put in her newly reclaimed Iron Maiden CD and began blasting "Run To The Hills" as loud as she could. Bobbing and swaying to the music, Liz began pulling clothes from her closet and stripping the ones she had on. Cynthia, laughing and clapping, began with the catcalls and cries of "take it ALL off baby!" until Elizabeth was done changing and then was silent while she applied make-up. After observing the finished look, Cynthia asked a simple question.

"Are you trying to seduce my brother?"

> > >

Author's Note: 'Tis all for now. Review...then there'll be more.


	2. Nancy Drew

Author's Note: Chapter number two! I hope everyone enjoys it and reviews! I apologize for how short the chapters are, but I'll work on it. I send thousands of hugs to my beta, antiIRONY. This story is officially dedicated to you!

hockey-girl90: Thank you for the review! You don't need to say anything else. ( :

Disclaimer: Though I wish I did, I do not know own the Mighty Ducks. I also don't own the title as that's actually a song by Fall Out Boy. Which I don't own.

> > >

Downstairs, Dean Portman and the majority of his fellow Ducks could here laughter over the loud music coming from his sister's bedroom. Fulton was looking at his friend with an expression of fear mingled with confusion on his face. Dean was looking back at him, but his face held the look of expecting Fulton to say something. When he chose to remain silent, Dean sighed and began pacing. After a moment of no one saying anything Dean spoke.

"Look, Reed. It's a simple question. Yes or no?" Dean looked at his fellow Bash Brother again and this time Fulton appeared to actually be trying to come up with an answer. Dean sat in the nearest chair, as though he expected Fulton's response to shock him off of his feet. And, it was a good thing he'd anticipated that, too.

"Are you asking if I like your sister or are you asking if I'm thinking of boning her?" Fulton Reed looked at Dean Portman, both with looks of absolute seriousness on their faces before both of them burst out laughing. "Look, man, your sister's cool, but I don't know her well enough to know if I want to date her or not, OK?" Still shaking with now-silent laughter, Dean Portman nodded and the other Ducks looked on, shocked.

Fulton had just said something about boning Dean's sister and Dean hadn't kicked his ass. One by one The Duck's began to smile.

Apparently dating Julie had put some good humor in Portman after all.

> > >

In Liz's room, Cynthia was pacing a ranting about how wrong it was that her best friend should try to seduce her brother. She had gone past full-swing and was winding down, when both she and Elizabeth heard the booming laughter of their older brothers. They looked at each other, then figuring it was a hockey thing, both shrugged and Cynhia sat down as Liz stood up.

"Ok, I'm going to explain something to you, and you're going to listen, OK?" Seeing her friend nod, Elizabeth continued with her speech. " I like your brother. I think he's cool. I think he's hot. I think he's nice, funny, clever, and though a bit on the slow side, capable of intelligent conversation." Ignoring Cyhia's snorting laughter, she went on. "I could go on all day about the wonderful things I think about your brother, however I won't because you will shoot me if I do. The fact of he matter is, I will not be chasing after your brother because it is a waste of time. Because he will never like me. And now I must wallow in self-pity, thank you very much."

With that Elizabeth flung herself onto her bed, and began to dramatically fake cry. Beng a "good friend", Cynthia sat beside her and started mock cheering her up, saying things like "Buck up! 'S'all right old girl!" and "turn that frown upside down!" in such a manner that the so-called sobs quickly became hysterical laughter. Pleased with herself for stopping an actual situation, Cyn began a short speech of her own.

"Lizza-bell, you cannot whine like that. You know how much I hate it. Look, you're a pretty girl, and smart, though you don't always show it. You're funny and interesting, and if you put your mind to it, you could have Fulton head over heels for you. I'm sick of all of your self-pity, woe is me shit about things that aren't real. If you really like my brother, then make an effort." At this point Cynthia sighed in a resigned way before continuing. "I can even help, if you'd like. We can go through his stuff when he's not home and try and find his journal, or something. Maybe find some things you two have in common so you'll have topics of conversation. I know he likes to draw, so finding a sketch book could help...you know, we can, like, spy or something. And then...I don't know...we'll figure it out, ok?"

Elizabeth shrieked and tackled her friend into a bone-crushing hug, yelling loudly enough for The Ducks and possibly half of the neighborhood to hear.

"I LOVE YOU, CYNDA-BELL!"

> > >

"Who in God's name calls their friend 'Cynda-bell'? That's the most disgustingly cutsie nickname that ever was." Guy was complaining loudly about everything, except for Connie sitting in his lap, and everyone was dealing with it until this comment. Many of The Ducks were completely passive, but Dean Portman was livid. He stood up and advanced towards Guy with a look of pure venom on his face.

"That's my baby sister, and if I hear you say one word that sounds like it's against her, I will beat you so far into oblivion..." Here he began to raise his hand as though to strike Guy, but Fulton took hold of his wrist and roughly turned him so that they were facing eachother. Looking Dean in the eye, he slowly shook his head as if to say "it's not worth it" and then turned and sat down. Dean remained standing for a moment before going into the corner to sulk. Just as he lowered his hulking figure into a sitting position on the ground, his younger sister and her friend came down the stairs.

"We are going to Cyn's house!" Elizabeth declared. "Once there, we will pretend we are Nancy Drew type people and begin detective work. And then we will proceed to giggle like maniacs. And then we will return here to document our findings. If you dare to complain about this plan, you will be taken care of." With that she grabbed hold of her friend's hand and the two began to leave the house and then Cynthia stopped short and looked expectantly at her brother. He stood and handed something to her before returning to his seat. The Ducks looked at him, puzzled.

"House key," he said shortly, and then began talking about hockey to avoid uncomfortable silence or Guy making any more comments that may piss off Dean.

> > >

Cynthia and Elizabeth were standing in front of Fulton's bedroom door and were out of breath from running all the way to the house, especially as they weren't exactly in tip-top physical condition. Even with her heart pounding in her chest with protest, Liz managed to do a short, but enthusiatic happy dance over being that close to Fulton's sleeping quarters.

"And now," a slightly breathless Cynthia said, "we enter Fulton's room and begin the search..."


	3. The Pocket Liz Translator

Author's Note: This chapter was more of a co-written by antiIRONY than anything, so I give her credit for all of the particularly hilarious parts. I hope everyone enjoys this lovely chapter, and to antiIRONY: I cannot thank you enough!

blueeyes: I've got a couple Julie and Dean parts here. I hope you like!

hockey-girl90: Thank you very much. This one's cooler! Hahahaha...

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me because my life sucks. Have a nice day!

> > >

Elizabeth was laying on her friend Cynthia's bed, as the two began formulating a plan as to what to do about figuring out the mysterious Fulton Reed. Going through his bedroom had been of very little help, Although, Liz found he had an entire book shelf full of books written by every author imaginable, many of which she was quite fond of. Liz wasn't mentioned at all in his journal, big surprise, which they found burried underneath a pile of dirty socks, and a half empty bag of Doritos, which Liz promptly started munching on. A few times he wrote some different things he looked for in a girl, which had helped, although not as much as they would have liked, since 'Willing to mud wrestle nude' was at the top of his list. The two had been unable to find a sketchbook, which might give a deeper insite into what made him tick, even though CD's, homework assignments, pens, pencils, and enough crumbs to attract every ant in all of Minnesota lay scattered around on the floor. It was only when Liz was about to look in his underwear drawer that Cynthia decided it best to leave.

Now, as they both sat in Cynthia's room, Cynthia was trying to piece together varied conversations for her friend and brother, she was also planning different situations that the two would be able to have, in hopes of spending some time together to spark these pre-planned conversations. The entire house was completely silent when a loud banging on the front door caused both girls to jump. Cynthia swore, then turned to Elizbeth with a grin on her face.

"Fulton is locked out. Be a dear and let him in for me. Oh! And don't forget," Cynthia said as she dangled a key in front of her friend's face. "to give this back to him. Thanks a million!" And with that she pushed Elizabeth out into the hall and closed the door. Shaking from nerves Liz padded down the hall and to the front door. She looked through the window to make sure it was Fulton. Then, taking a deep breath, she opened the door to let him in. Fulton walked in, and upon seing who had opened the door for him grinned jovially.

"Locking me out of my own house, were ya?" He asked Liz and laughed. Liz blushed, and looked down. Noticing her lack of responce, Fulton continued speaking. "It's alright, at least I got in this time. Cyn usually leaves me outside for a couple of hours. Longer if it's raining, of course." With that he laughed again, and began walking towards the kitchen. Not wanting to seem completely pathetic, Liz spoke, praying she would say something intellegent, or at least something in english. What came out was "Cyn. Locked door, I'm sorry. At least I'm here for you. To let you in, that is. Uhh, gotta go, Cyn's waiting. BYE!" Although, she was already half way down the hall by the time she hit the rather high pitched, and loud "bye."

"Interesting. Very interesting..." He smiled in the direction she had gone, shook his head, and went into the kitchen.

Cynthia barely looked up from her work as her beat red friend ran into the room, slammed the door, and threw herself onto the bed.

"You know...he's probably going to go out and buy a pocket 'Liz Translator' if you keep that up," she said, continuing to write.

> > >

Back at the Portman household Dean was cuddled on the couch with Julie. He kept trying to slip his hand down her shirt and every time she would slap it away and tell him to stop. Finally, after roughly 3 mintues of this and nineteen threats to castrate Dean, Julie stood up and sat in a chair across the room for him. He tried giving her sad puppy eyes, but ever strong-willed, Julie kept her eys on the screen. After less than a minute of sitting with out Julie next to him, Dean began to fake cry.

"Come back, baby! We can work things out! Don't leave me..." Dropping off the couch and to his knees, Dean crawled over to Julie, who was struggling to keep a straight face. He took her hands and started kissing them while murmuring "Please, baby, it'll be OK" and "Sugar, we're supposed to be together forever" with such a comical thug sound, that Julie finally burst out in laughter. Dean looked up at her and smiled. "So," he said hopefully.. "This means you'll stay for a couple more hours?"

> > >

Fulton Reed stood in the doorway to his sister's room watching as she tore through her closet, trying to decide what clothes to pack to wear the next day. Elizabeth, who's home she was planning on staying at, was laying on Cyn's bed flipping through a magazine. Fulton had already expressed several times his amazement that girls could take so long packing to stay at someone's house for only one night. The two girls, however, were gamely ignoring him together, with the exception of one pillow and one shoe being thrown at his head, both, thankfully, having missed. While Cyn remained burried halfway in her closet, occationally cursing, and throwing something into her already overly stuffed duffle bag, Liz snuck quick peeks at Fulton over the top of her magazine, blushing, and then looking back down again. It was none too difficult for Fulton to realize that she was checking him out, besides the fact that she was holding her magazine upside down. Being the nice boy that he was, he decided to pretend he didn't notice her frequent glances. After nearly ten more minutes of Cyn digging through her closet Fulton let out an angry growl.

"She's always like this. She wants to be prepared for any situation." Liz told him, gazing fondly at her friend. "Cyndi...Sweetheart...you can borrow some of my clothes if something comes up, y'know. I have some stuff that'll fit you." Liz stood up and stretched as Cynthia began to speak.

"You know, that never works for you, when I offer up my clothes, so it won't work for me wearing your's." She said, never pausing from excavating through her closet, Fulton snorted, trying to keep from laughing. Liz looked at her friend like she was crazy.

"Because, my dear Cynthia," she began. "How on earth is something that fits your skinny ass going to fit all of me?" She said, gesturing to her slightly larger hind end. With that Liz slapped her butt and turned around. "Eh? Answer me that, Toothpick!" Fulton was now shaking with stifled laughter and Cynthia was standing, apparently speechless. "Hey, I've got a large HINEY, and I've accepted it, and moved on." Liz said as she stuck her butt in Cynthia's direction, and wiggled it. With that Fulton sank to the floor, his face bordering on purple, as he sat clutching his stomach and laughing so hard it looked like he might wet himself.

"You know the sad thing?" Cynthia said, turning back to her closet. "He'll probably never know what a serious moment that was for us."

> > >

Julie was attempting to leave Dean's house, but he would not stop thinking of reasons to keep her. The latest was that it was cold outside and she needed a coat before he could let her into the car in case it took too long to heat up. Sitting back down with a sigh, Julie waited for Dean while remembering the way their entire relationship began. It had been shortly after the junior vs. varsity game in their first year at Eden Hall. Julie had been talking to Scooter more and one day after practice Dean had started tearing into her about it. Instead of running away crying like she wanted to do, Julie had accused him of being jealous. He'd looked her in the eyes and told her that yes, he was jealous because he liked her. After that things had sort of just clicked and the two were practically inseprable.

"I brought you a sweatshirt," Dean sang out as he walked toward the living room, snapping Julie out of her thoughts. She looked over at him with this comically proud grin on his face and burst out laughing. Dean smiled, not understanding wha was so funny and just looked at her. How could he know that Julie couldn't get over the fact that he was so tough and tumble on the ice, but suddenly when they were togther, he became Mr. Sensative? And how could Julie explain to him that, while getting her a sweatshirt was sweet, it was summer and roughly 96 degrees out? She couldn't, at least not without breaking his fagile male ego to pieces and so instead she took the sweatchirt and put it on without complaint.

"OK, babe," she told him, heading towards the door. "Drive me home!" And Dean Portman, a Bash Brother, followed like an obedient puppy dog.

> > >

A/N: You see the little button that you click on to review? You do? OK...then click it!


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